[ Come on, Lightning, would you smear cake on the face of the one who made it? But unfortunately for Ignis, Prompto is about as good at lying as he is at cooking.
Despite her tone, a little bit of a laugh edges the message that returns from him. ]
I couldn't tell ya! But your cake is gonna be delicious, heads up.
[ Whoops. ]
A-anyway, could I steal you for a few minutes sometime today? Won't be long, promise!
[She absolutely would smear cake all over the bespectacled face of the person who made it! One might say it makes it even better and more satisfying. She's looking forward to this delicious cake, though. If her hunch is right, which it usually is, then it's going to be as best as it can be.]
Hm. I'm real busy. [She's not, but Lightning still hums to herself thoughtfully.] But I guess I can make some time for you. You wanna stop by, or you want me to come to you?
[ Oh, it's going to be a very good cake. Also, very smearable. Ignis has designed his own demise, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made in the celebration of birthdays. ]
I can come to you! No sweat. Just give me a few shakes to get the confetti poppers and fireworks ready!
[Joking or not, Lightning makes sure that the warning is firm because she wouldn't put it past him to be 100% serious about this. Besides, a confetti popper going off in her face might short a light bulb or make it explode, and that's a fireworks show everyone can do without!]
The door'll be unlocked, so just come in. And mind the goat when you do.
Riiiight, got it. I'll watch out for Daisy. Don't make me any coffee this time!
[ He means that in the best possible way, honest. He just doesn't want to put her own on her birthday! Maybe he should have told her to come to their house...but too late now. Prompto disconnects from the conversation and heads over to Casa de Crystalfam, and nudges the door open with his boot...
...because his arms are quite full.
He calls out from the entrance: ]
Heeeeey, Lightning! Hope I didn't keep you β oof, watch out, Daisy! You're gonna β !
[ There's an absolute crash from the front of the house. ]
[Following the crash is a loud, concerned, and frightened bleat from Daisy just as Lightning pokes her head around the corner from the kitchen with a half-eaten strip of bacon in her mouth, except it's a little hard to see the front entrance from where she is.
Of course the goat would run to the door as soon as there was any sign of movement outside, and most times, she's easy to step around.
... Unless you're a guest. She's slowly grown into the role of Crystalfam House Welcome Committee, much to Lightning's chagrin, but there's little she can do about it right now.]
Prompto? You alright?
[Daisy answers back, and Lightning responds with an eyeroll before rushing out. Hopefully he's not on the floor!?]
[ He's not on the floor...because he had something substantial to break his fall. Daisy noses at the gargantuan bear as Prompto scrambles upright once more, and, well, there goes the surprise! Not that he had much home of one considering this thing is six feet tall, but he would have liked to have at least presented it a bit more dramatically.
Though perhaps there's no better entrance he could have made than tripping over a goat with a giant pink teddy bear. Let it never be said that Prompto Argentum does things by halves. ]
I'm fine! F-fit as a fiddle! Hap β [ HECK, he can't even see around this thing, now that he's upright and attempting to carry it towards her. It's a marvel he even made it all the way to her house without dropping it.
He wedges his head between the bears shoulder and head to peer at her through it.]
Haaaaaaappy birthday, Lightning! Bet you'll never guess what your present is!
[This is truly a sight to behold. She expected to find him on the ground because that's just what Daisy does to those whose feet she manages to get beneath, but what she actually finds is something she never imagined to find in a million years at her front door.
Lightning rushes over, but slows to a halt once she's near him, afraid that she might run into the giant bear or that it will smother her alive.
Her hands find her hips as she peers around the bear, and she gives both Prompto and the massive plush a once over, all while trying to maintain a straight expression and holding in a laugh. Holy Etro, how did he make it all the way here in one piece?]
Noooooope, not quite! You're on the right track, though.
[ Whatever that means. Prompto would keep up the banter, because it's fun and he'd like to hear what other ridiculous things Lightning can suggest that are not a giant pink teddy bear, but gods, this thing is heavy, and look, he has his guns but even they can only take so much plushed stress. So, better cut to the chase. ]
I'll give you a hint. It's biiiig, cuddly, and it loooooves you!
[ No, it's not Gladio, though if Prompto was privy to their relationship having Gladio jump out of this thing would have been quite a memorable stunt. What a shame!
Tucking one hand under the bear's massive arm, he gets a sort-of-wave out of it, and then he adopts a high-pitched voice that one can only assume is meant to be the bear's. ]
Hi, Lightning! My name is Stuffles McBearington the Third! I like biiiiig hugs and my favorite color is pink! Won't you be my frieeeeeend? Ker-powzah!
[ ...
...in his normal voice once more, and whispered: ]
[The high-pitched voice and the waving of the bear's hand seems to amuse Daisy too, because she skips down the hall and returns to give the giant plush a headbutt. It's ineffective, given her smaller build, and she stumbles backwards a step before bleating at it like she's got something to say.
Lightning, on the other hand, while amused... is not going to headbutt the bear. She does step over the goat, and with a fist, pats the bear in the stomach like she's punching it.
Then, delivers this supposed catchphrase in true deadpan Lightning fashion.]
Lightning tries her best to wrap her arms around the bear to relieve Prompto of it for a while, and the thing is surprisingly heavy for a giant stuffed animal. Once she's got a good enough hold on it, after having to catch her balance a couple of times before finally finding it, she peers around its arms at Prompto while she wiggles backwards away from the entrance and towards the living room.]
[ Prompto is careful with the handover, not wanting to accidentally topple either of them over, or drop the bear onto Daisy and risk suffocating her. This thing is probably more a hazard than anything else, but hey, it's at least cute, right?
(He really hopes she thinks it's cute.)
Once Lightning begins to...waddle, more or less, back to the living room, Prompto follows, hot on her heels. ]
What, get you a giant stuffed bear? 'Course I did! It's your special day!
[ Though he did refrain from bringing any confetti or noisemakers, you're welcome. ]
[It's definitely a hazard, but it's a cute hazard, so she'll forgive him. However, Lightning isn't one to say as much, even when her smile betrays her silence.
She takes him to the living room and sets him down on one side of the couch, or rather... an entire half. She has to pause to adjust him so that he's sitting like a proper bear, with his (nonexistent) knees together and his hands folded neatly on his lap before Lightning slumps down to take a seat next to him.]
Is it? Just seemed like any other Sunday to me. Except Serah's made breakfast and I hear there'll be cake later... too bad every Sunday's not like this, huh...
[ As Lightning poses the bear, Prompto tucks a hand beneath his chin and nods thoughtfully at her progress. Yes, that will do. Stuffles is a proper gent, it's only appropriate that he should sit like one! ]
Yeah, well...that'd only happen if every Sunday was your birthday!
[ Yeah, she might be coy about it, but he isn't!! He drops into the nearest armchair, sitting forward to lean on his knees. ]
So, how does it feel? What wisdom can you bestow upon us, O Wizened Lightning Farron?
[ By "us", he means himself and the bear, of course. Oh, and Daisy. ]
[She jests, and leans over until her side is resting against Stuffles'. He makes a good pillow, she'll give it that much! It makes his arm slide from his lap, though, but Lightning adjusts it soon enough.
Prompto's gesture is not lost on her, and although she may not have thanked him yet, her smile is brimming with gratitude and appreciation. Honestly, the best birthday present he could give her is being here, but the bear does add to its charm.]
Wisdom? [She lets her smile fade and feigns offense at his question.] Why? How old do you think I am?
[ Wow, she can't ask that question! Except for on her birthday, Lightning can ask any question that she wants. But how is Prompto supposed to answer that? He knows better than to try and guess a lady's age!
He drums his fingers on his knees as he looks her over, as if gather important intel that will lead him to the truth. ]
You're...twenty-two. Twenty-three? You can't be much older than me. I don't think.
[ If it turns out Lightning is actually younger than him, it's going to rock his world. ]
[Lightning stares at him for a while, silent and neutral-faced, with her lips pressed together. Then, she stands upright and walks out of the room without a single word, leaving Prompto alone with Stuffles staring right at him through his large beady eyes. 'Sup. Her movement to get up tilts his head sideways and forces his hand to drop back to his side.
It's not long before she returns with a plate of bacon in one hand, and a glass of orange juice in the other, both of which are placed on the coffee table between them. The drink is slid closer to Prompto, indicating that it's for him.]
Close. Try five hundred and twenty-three.
[Was that disappearing act even necessary!?!? Probably not, but she wanted to leave a bit of suspense!!]
[ It absolutely is suspenseful, and from the moment Lightning stands up, giving him that stony look, he's sure he's said something wrong. Was his guess that far off?! He should've known better than to try and guess her age! For those few long seconds, he can only sit there and sputter, trying to form a cohesive apology or explanation or anything, but she's gone into the kitchen before he musters anything up.
And on her birthday, of all days...he exchanges a knowing look with Stuffles, who seems to have disappointment in his big, black eyes.
But then she's returning a moment later with food and an answer. Close, she says, and he fumbles the piece of bacon he just picked up as she gives her answer, his eyebrows flying into his hair. ]
F-five hundred andβ c'mon, you're pullin' my leg!
[Her standing up and leaving like that was probably a lot meaner than it needed to be, but the walk to the kitchen and back for some food and a drink for him was worth every single second of his reaction she managed to catch. Her arm wraps around Stuffles as soon as she gets comfortable with her own piece of bacon, and Lightning pauses to munch on a bite before waving it at him.]
If you wanna lie about your age, why go for five hundred?
[Not that she's ashamed at all about being twenty-three (and then some), but if she's going to make anything up, she doubts she'd go for that.]
I-I wouldn't say that, I just...wasn't expecting...
[ There's really no good way to put it, but he crams his piece of bacon into his mouth anyway, to give himself a moment to chew and think. However, even once he's swallowed, he's no closer to an explanation. Or, at least, one that doesn't sound bad. ]
You just...wear five-hundred and twenty-three really well! Not a wrinkle on you! [ He chuckles, sheepish but warm. ] Sorry. I believe you. Unless you're just pulling an extra-special birthday bluff on me.
[ Which he doesn't really suspect, but how could she actually be that old? ]
[It's fine, really. It does admittedly sound very farfetched when she says it out loud like that, but there couldn't be anything closer to the truth. Though, she'll continue to go with twenty-three when (if) she tells others since it's a prettier number anyway.
As for the wisdom he's asked her to impart on him?
Lightning pauses to take one more bite of her bacon and stretches before she bestows it.]
Wanna know the trick?
[She leans forward and lowers her voice, like she's really about to tell him her ancient, long-kept secret.]
[ His eyes flicker between the bacon and Lightning, anticipation drumming up inside him, absolutely certain he's about to hear something very cool. After all, even if Lightning weren't as old as she says, she would still doubtless have plenty of mind-blowing things to tell him. Though considering the circumstances, he's halfway convinced it has something to with bacon. ]
You bet I do. Lay it on me, girl.
[ He is hanging on her every word. ]
so i totally forgot what it was i actually wanted her to say.....
[Thinking about it now, Lightning realizes that she knows quite a bit about Prompto but he knows very little about her. There are some things she doesn't share so openly with others, like what she's about to disclose, but if done in the right way she doesn't mind talking about it so much. Besides, it's not as if he's difficult to open up to. In fact, she thinks she needs to learn to do so more often...
No better time to start than now, right?
Despite the very real heaviness of her admission, she makes an effort to keep the tone light.]
Plenty of sleep β five centuries of it. You'll wake up without a wrinkle, and your skin'll glow.
[Lightning motions to the juice on the table.]
Or just drink a lot of fluids.
[SO PROFOUND... And not as clever as it was supposed to be!!!]
But what she does tell him is far more important than anything that could have to do with baconβor even sleep habits, even if that is what she couches her response in. It's a technique he knows well, buffing the edges of something sharp an unexpected with humor to lessen the blow, but the impact of it is still not lost on him. She's telling him about herself, about her past, and this unexpected part of it that can't be easy to explain. After all, they've just been over it. She doesn't look like she's over five-hundred years old, and there must be quite the story to go along with that if she was sleeping for five centuries.
Yet this doesn't seem like the right time to ask about it, even if she did bring it up herself. There's still so much he doesn't know about the life she led back on her home world, and perhaps he should have been asking about it sooner. Yet Prompto has never been one to pry, well-acquainted with the fact that some peopleβmany peopleβhave secrets they want to keep, and he would never want Lightning to feel obligated to tell him anything, even if she does know his own secret. Besides, that kind of thing isn't always easy to talk about, and that's not usually the kind of mood he tries to set.
Still, she's just told him something pretty major about her past, and he's not going to brush it off with a laugh, even if it takes a similar approach to her, lifting his glass of orange juice in his hand. ]
Hey, good advice. Just don't tell Noct that first part. If sleeping for five centuries is an option, he'd do it.
[ Little does he know... ]
Butβhey, I think that calls for a toast, don't you? Not every day you get to celebrate the big five-two-three!
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Despite her tone, a little bit of a laugh edges the message that returns from him. ]
I couldn't tell ya! But your cake is gonna be delicious, heads up.
[ Whoops. ]
A-anyway, could I steal you for a few minutes sometime today? Won't be long, promise!
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Hm. I'm real busy. [She's not, but Lightning still hums to herself thoughtfully.] But I guess I can make some time for you. You wanna stop by, or you want me to come to you?
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I can come to you! No sweat. Just give me a few shakes to get the confetti poppers and fireworks ready!
[ He's joking.
Or is he??? ]
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[Joking or not, Lightning makes sure that the warning is firm because she wouldn't put it past him to be 100% serious about this. Besides, a confetti popper going off in her face might short a light bulb or make it explode, and that's a fireworks show everyone can do without!]
The door'll be unlocked, so just come in. And mind the goat when you do.
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[ He means that in the best possible way, honest. He just doesn't want to put her own on her birthday! Maybe he should have told her to come to their house...but too late now. Prompto disconnects from the conversation and heads over to Casa de Crystalfam, and nudges the door open with his boot...
...because his arms are quite full.
He calls out from the entrance: ]
Heeeeey, Lightning! Hope I didn't keep you β oof, watch out, Daisy! You're gonna β !
[ There's an absolute crash from the front of the house. ]
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Of course the goat would run to the door as soon as there was any sign of movement outside, and most times, she's easy to step around.
... Unless you're a guest. She's slowly grown into the role of Crystalfam House Welcome Committee, much to Lightning's chagrin, but there's little she can do about it right now.]
Prompto? You alright?
[Daisy answers back, and Lightning responds with an eyeroll before rushing out. Hopefully he's not on the floor!?]
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Though perhaps there's no better entrance he could have made than tripping over a goat with a giant pink teddy bear. Let it never be said that Prompto Argentum does things by halves. ]
I'm fine! F-fit as a fiddle! Hap β [ HECK, he can't even see around this thing, now that he's upright and attempting to carry it towards her. It's a marvel he even made it all the way to her house without dropping it.
He wedges his head between the bears shoulder and head to peer at her through it.]
Haaaaaaappy birthday, Lightning! Bet you'll never guess what your present is!
[ It is a real mystery. ]
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Lightning rushes over, but slows to a halt once she's near him, afraid that she might run into the giant bear or that it will smother her alive.
Her hands find her hips as she peers around the bear, and she gives both Prompto and the massive plush a once over, all while trying to maintain a straight expression and holding in a laugh. Holy Etro, how did he make it all the way here in one piece?]
... Hm. Is it a bouquet of flowers?
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[ Whatever that means. Prompto would keep up the banter, because it's fun and he'd like to hear what other ridiculous things Lightning can suggest that are not a giant pink teddy bear, but gods, this thing is heavy, and look, he has his guns but even they can only take so much plushed stress. So, better cut to the chase. ]
I'll give you a hint. It's biiiig, cuddly, and it loooooves you!
[ No, it's not Gladio, though if Prompto was privy to their relationship having Gladio jump out of this thing would have been quite a memorable stunt. What a shame!
Tucking one hand under the bear's massive arm, he gets a sort-of-wave out of it, and then he adopts a high-pitched voice that one can only assume is meant to be the bear's. ]
Hi, Lightning! My name is Stuffles McBearington the Third! I like biiiiig hugs and my favorite color is pink! Won't you be my frieeeeeend? Ker-powzah!
[ ...
...in his normal voice once more, and whispered: ]
That's his catchphrase.
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Lightning, on the other hand, while amused... is not going to headbutt the bear. She does step over the goat, and with a fist, pats the bear in the stomach like she's punching it.
Then, delivers this supposed catchphrase in true deadpan Lightning fashion.]
Ker-powzah.
[She peers around the bear's head at Prompto.]
That how it goes?
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You nailed it! Ker-powzah! [ Then, a bit more sheepishly: ] I know it's a little...large, but you know what they say! Go big or go home!
[ Sometimes, that means literally. ]
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[That's an oxymoron if she's ever heard one...
Lightning tries her best to wrap her arms around the bear to relieve Prompto of it for a while, and the thing is surprisingly heavy for a giant stuffed animal. Once she's got a good enough hold on it, after having to catch her balance a couple of times before finally finding it, she peers around its arms at Prompto while she wiggles backwards away from the entrance and towards the living room.]
... You didn't have to, y'know.
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(He really hopes she thinks it's cute.)
Once Lightning begins to...waddle, more or less, back to the living room, Prompto follows, hot on her heels. ]
What, get you a giant stuffed bear? 'Course I did! It's your special day!
[ Though he did refrain from bringing any confetti or noisemakers, you're welcome. ]
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She takes him to the living room and sets him down on one side of the couch, or rather... an entire half. She has to pause to adjust him so that he's sitting like a proper bear, with his (nonexistent) knees together and his hands folded neatly on his lap before Lightning slumps down to take a seat next to him.]
Is it? Just seemed like any other Sunday to me. Except Serah's made breakfast and I hear there'll be cake later... too bad every Sunday's not like this, huh...
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Yeah, well...that'd only happen if every Sunday was your birthday!
[ Yeah, she might be coy about it, but he isn't!! He drops into the nearest armchair, sitting forward to lean on his knees. ]
So, how does it feel? What wisdom can you bestow upon us, O Wizened Lightning Farron?
[ By "us", he means himself and the bear, of course. Oh, and Daisy. ]
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[She jests, and leans over until her side is resting against Stuffles'. He makes a good pillow, she'll give it that much! It makes his arm slide from his lap, though, but Lightning adjusts it soon enough.
Prompto's gesture is not lost on her, and although she may not have thanked him yet, her smile is brimming with gratitude and appreciation. Honestly, the best birthday present he could give her is being here, but the bear does add to its charm.]
Wisdom? [She lets her smile fade and feigns offense at his question.] Why? How old do you think I am?
[Answer carefully!]
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He drums his fingers on his knees as he looks her over, as if gather important intel that will lead him to the truth. ]
You're...twenty-two. Twenty-three? You can't be much older than me. I don't think.
[ If it turns out Lightning is actually younger than him, it's going to rock his world. ]
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[Lightning stares at him for a while, silent and neutral-faced, with her lips pressed together. Then, she stands upright and walks out of the room without a single word, leaving Prompto alone with Stuffles staring right at him through his large beady eyes. 'Sup. Her movement to get up tilts his head sideways and forces his hand to drop back to his side.
It's not long before she returns with a plate of bacon in one hand, and a glass of orange juice in the other, both of which are placed on the coffee table between them. The drink is slid closer to Prompto, indicating that it's for him.]
Close. Try five hundred and twenty-three.
[Was that disappearing act even necessary!?!? Probably not, but she wanted to leave a bit of suspense!!]
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And on her birthday, of all days...he exchanges a knowing look with Stuffles, who seems to have disappointment in his big, black eyes.
But then she's returning a moment later with food and an answer. Close, she says, and he fumbles the piece of bacon he just picked up as she gives her answer, his eyebrows flying into his hair. ]
F-five hundred andβ c'mon, you're pullin' my leg!
[ ...Isn't she? She must be. ]
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If you wanna lie about your age, why go for five hundred?
[Not that she's ashamed at all about being twenty-three (and then some), but if she's going to make anything up, she doubts she'd go for that.]
What... You don't believe me?
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[ There's really no good way to put it, but he crams his piece of bacon into his mouth anyway, to give himself a moment to chew and think. However, even once he's swallowed, he's no closer to an explanation. Or, at least, one that doesn't sound bad. ]
You just...wear five-hundred and twenty-three really well! Not a wrinkle on you! [ He chuckles, sheepish but warm. ] Sorry. I believe you. Unless you're just pulling an extra-special birthday bluff on me.
[ Which he doesn't really suspect, but how could she actually be that old? ]
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As for the wisdom he's asked her to impart on him?
Lightning pauses to take one more bite of her bacon and stretches before she bestows it.]
Wanna know the trick?
[She leans forward and lowers her voice, like she's really about to tell him her ancient, long-kept secret.]
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You bet I do. Lay it on me, girl.
[ He is hanging on her every word. ]
so i totally forgot what it was i actually wanted her to say.....
No better time to start than now, right?
Despite the very real heaviness of her admission, she makes an effort to keep the tone light.]
Plenty of sleep β five centuries of it. You'll wake up without a wrinkle, and your skin'll glow.
[Lightning motions to the juice on the table.]
Or just drink a lot of fluids.
[SO PROFOUND...
And not as clever as it was supposed to be!!!]i've done that so many times...
But what she does tell him is far more important than anything that could have to do with baconβor even sleep habits, even if that is what she couches her response in. It's a technique he knows well, buffing the edges of something sharp an unexpected with humor to lessen the blow, but the impact of it is still not lost on him. She's telling him about herself, about her past, and this unexpected part of it that can't be easy to explain. After all, they've just been over it. She doesn't look like she's over five-hundred years old, and there must be quite the story to go along with that if she was sleeping for five centuries.
Yet this doesn't seem like the right time to ask about it, even if she did bring it up herself. There's still so much he doesn't know about the life she led back on her home world, and perhaps he should have been asking about it sooner. Yet Prompto has never been one to pry, well-acquainted with the fact that some peopleβmany peopleβhave secrets they want to keep, and he would never want Lightning to feel obligated to tell him anything, even if she does know his own secret. Besides, that kind of thing isn't always easy to talk about, and that's not usually the kind of mood he tries to set.
Still, she's just told him something pretty major about her past, and he's not going to brush it off with a laugh, even if it takes a similar approach to her, lifting his glass of orange juice in his hand. ]
Hey, good advice. Just don't tell Noct that first part. If sleeping for five centuries is an option, he'd do it.
[ Little does he know... ]
Butβhey, I think that calls for a toast, don't you? Not every day you get to celebrate the big five-two-three!
[ An orange juice toast, yes. ]
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wrapping :)