sparkstrikes | empatheias IC contact. (archive)

[He exhales a bit, and it comes out as a soft huff.]

I'm that obvious, am I?

[He smiles faintly, but it fades a moment afterwards.]

There has been something weighing on me for some time, in fact, that I've been unable to speak of until recently-- and certainly not openly. Beyond you, only Steven knows, and I don't intend to tell anyone else. I trust the both of you with my life.

You're not exactly subtle.

[She fixes him with an intent stare when she sees his smile fade and, shifting slightly, she lifts her cup to her lips without taking a sip, her eyes not leaving Ignis' face once. Her voice turns delicate, lacking any of the humour or amusement from earlier.]

If you wanna talk, then talk.

[And she will listen. Lightning has a couple of ideas on what this could be about, but she isn't going to make any assumptions... not out loud.]

[He grimaces, though only slightly. It's not quite that simple, and he's certain this must seem out of the blue to begin with, but he'll do his utmost to handle this situation with grace and tact.]

When I first returned from my trip home, you asked who did this to me.

[She'd been quite intent on finding out, if he recalls.]

What happened wasn't so clear-cut as all that. We were fighting against the Empire, yes, but I wasn't attacked.

[She licks the taste of coffee from her lips and purses them together, nodding, even if Ignis can't see it. Lightning remembers the day he returned well, like it was yesterday. The panic that had set in upon discovering him, and in the state he was in...

She remembers feeling angry for him, and at the Empire who dared hurt him. She remembers thinking that if she could reach through the divide between their worlds, she would bring her wrath down on them...

... Which is why she sounds so confused now.]

What do you mean, you weren't attacked?

[Had she misunderstood it all?]

Not directly.

[There was certainly combat involved, and he'd cut his way through countless MTs and other imperials in order to reach his goal, but no attack had been responsible for how he had changed.]

Noct was in danger. Lady Lunafreya, I fear, was beyond saving, but it wasn't too late for him-- he was in Chancellor Izunia's grasp.

[It's not often that he speaks of Ardyn, but the same low, seething tone always threatens to surface when he does.]

Ever since I was a child, my sworn duty has been to remain alongside Noctis. To protect him, no matter the cost.

[Lightning continues watching him, setting her cup down on the table as quietly as she can so as not to interrupt. She holds her breath, anxiety and worry getting the better of her as if this is something that hasn't already happened. She has no idea where this is going, or what protecting Noctis has to do with all of it. Sworn duty or not, hearing that makes her churn on the inside, even if she would have done anything to save Serah. It's hypocritical, but she hates seeing the people she cares about get hurt.

After a few more moments of silence, Lightning lets out that breath she's been holding in, sounding more troubled than she intended.]

What was the price you had to pay?

[He shifts in his seat slightly, lifting one hand with his fingers spread, gesturing vaguely towards his own face. Of course, that much goes without saying, given the way this conversation had started, but his lips pull into a thin line as he considers how to explain the rest.]

Noct's bloodline has been entrusted with the Ring of the Lucii-- a weapon to be used by the chosen king in order to save our dying star.

[He has to tell her that much before he says the rest.]

Izunia sought this ring, considered himself to be the rightful bearer. To keep it from falling into the wrong hands, I seized it in a moment of desperation. [Though he wishes that he had been that altruistic. In truth, it had been somewhat more selfish, panic driving him to do whatever it took to protect the person he cared for most.] To protect Noctis... I attempted to wield its power. Even those who are favored by the ring and the past Kings of Lucis lose themselves to it, bit by bit.

[Her jaw tightens and without realizing it, her drink begins to heat up and the steam thickens, but she's paying far too much attention to Ignis now, watching for any signs of his expression shifting, and her eyes fall on the scar along the side of his face.]

And so that's what that power did...

[It's not a question as much as it is seeking confirmation that she's following along.]

[He nods stiffly. Yes-- precisely.]

There are worse prices to pay. Countless people have already given their lives for this same cause. I was willing to give mine, as well.

[And yet, though he's ashamed to admit it, there are times when he feels like this is worse. That being cut off from his world and denied being whole made living so much harder, but he's grateful to have escaped that particular conflict with his life. He very well may not have.]

... Noctis doesn't know. Nobody knows that I took up the ring.

[Lightning reaches across the table and snatches one of Ignis' hands up in her own in a firm hold. She wants to scold him, and tell him that he shouldn't be out there risking his life because there are people who care about him, but not only is it selfish, but she quickly realizes that if it had been Serah, or even Ignis, she would have done it in a heartbeat, consequences be damned.

There's one important detail, though.]

Are you gonna tell him? Or anyone?

[He shakes his head slowly, his expression somber, and he allows her to maintain her hold of his hands, curling his fingers slightly.]

No. He can't know. He already feels responsible for what happened, even without knowing how. If he were to learn that this was the direct result of my attempt to protect him— he would never forgive himself. I can't allow that.

[Noctis bears enough guilt and weight on his shoulders already. Ignis could never bring himself to heap more on top of him.]

I've told you, and I've told Steven. I needed to unburden myself, and I trust the both of you implicitly.

[She's glad, even appreciative, that he trusts her enough to share this information with her, except she disagrees. Noctis has a pair of real broad, strong shoulders, and Lightning is of the belief that he at least deserves to know the truth about what happened.]

I'm not telling you what you're doing is right. Or wrong.

[Here it comes...]

But you ever think it might be harder on him not knowing how it happened?

[Of course, here it comes. As surely as he knows that Lightning won't tell betray his trust and tell Noctis herself, he's equally confident that he can expect her to remind him that she doesn't quite agree with the way he's chosen to handle the situation.]

He knows that it was suffered in the line of duty.

[It was an omission of the whole truth, but certainly not a lie.]

To tell him anything more than that would be cruel.

[Silence follows while Lightning shifts, her fingers sliding out from between Ignis' so that she can take another sip of her coffee, but not without a reassuring squeeze first to remind him that she's not upset with him. It could definitely be taken that way, given her tone and the lack of immediate response, and a part of her is a little disappointed, but she'll get over it.

She's in no place to tell any of them what is and isn't right.]

We do what we have to to protect the ones we care about.

[That much, she gets. It's always been something she's carried a mutual understanding for with them. Just as they would do anything to protect Noctis, Lightning would do anything to protect Serah... and if it came down to it, she probably would have made the same decisions Ignis did.]

[He nods once, and his disconnected gaze moves downwards towards their joined hands.]

Whatever the cost.

[He would have chosen just the same, given the opportunity to do it all over again. If it meant protecting Noct, if it meant stopping Ardyn? It was enough. The sacrifice was worth it. Other people had already given up so much more than just their sight.]

Fulfilling my vow was well worth the price.

[Some days, it's hard for her to remember where they all came from. In between all the coffees she's shared with Ignis, the photos she's taken with Prompto, and the dates she's had with Gladio, Lightning sometimes forgets that before all of this, their vows and their prince came first. Everything here feels so... normal in comparison.

That's not to say that it doesn't matter still, but from what she's observed so far from the outside, Verens gives them all a little more room to breathe and do things for themselves, Noctis included. She's glad for it. After all they've been through... they at least deserve this.

Smiling to herself, Lightning bows her head and lowers her voice.]

Thank you... for trusting me enough to tell me.

[It means more to her than she's able to put into words.]

[His expression softens as his attention shifts upwards once more, towards her voice.]

Thank you for listening. Keeping it to myself has been...

[His voice falters for a moment, and he smiles sadly.]

It's been a weight, though I have no regrets.

Don't thank me.

[It's what she's here for. For as little as she likes to lean on others for support out of fear of burdening them, it's easy for her to be that pillar for them when they need it.

Lightning shifts again and she licks her lips, nervous, because there's something she's been hiding from him as well. It's no heavy secret like his, but if there was ever a time that felt right to share it, it's now.]

There's something I've been wanting to tell you, too.

[He feigns a brief look of surprise, though his smile warms just a bit.]

I didn't realize we had so many secrets between us.

[But of course, for as well as he knows Lightning and as much time as they spend together, he doesn't know everything about her.]

You have my undivided attention.

[A sound escapes her – more like an anxious sigh than a laugh – and she fidgets with the lid of her cup a moment longer. It gives her a second or two to debate even telling him the secret. He had shared one so significant that making a big deal out of hers feels almost like undermining it, which isn't her intention. Telling Ignis her most closely kept secret is her way of reminding him that she, too, trusts him with everything she's got, and it's that notion that makes it easier for her to shake off that small bit of doubt sticking in the back of her mind.

So, with another deep breath, the sound of the paper cup toppling against the table comes to a stop.]

I don't know if you know this, but a long time ago, Serah and I lost our parents.

[This isn't the part that matters, but some context is important. She's starting to forget who knows what.]

It was just me and her for a while... this was before she became a l'Cie, and before Snow. I wanted to be strong for her, so I thought that changing my name and letting go of who I used to be would be the answer. It's why I became Lightning.

[There's a pause, and she looks up from her hands at Ignis, studying his expression through her lashes.]

[The anxiety in the air becomes almost palpable, and he ceases any further teasing then, however gentle it may have been. His attention is fixed on her completely, his fingers loosely curled around his own cup, and he nods as she takes a brief pause in the telling of her tale. He had known that they were without their parents, as he had been without his, but he had never been told the details— and had never been quite so invasive as to ask.]

And who were you before?

[His tone is as gentle as it is curious, his expression even— he realizes that what she's sharing with him is privileged information.]

[Of course he could guess what was coming... She hadn't exactly been subtle about where this was going, but his question still makes her freeze up and drop her gaze again. To anyone else it's just a name, but for Lightning, it carries much more weight than that – it represents all of the things she was always too afraid to be: a young, naïve, and weak girl who couldn't be strong for her sister. It completely contradicts everything she tries to be on the outside, but on the inside, she's not all that different.]

It's Cl—

[No, too quiet. She's already come too far to back out now. With another deep breath, she lets it out gently, loud enough for just Ignis to hear.]

My name is Claire.

[He smiles faintly. He doesn't have to be able to see her fallen expression to know that this is particularly difficult to share, that it's something she's kept to herself for so long for good reason, and that alone makes him feel touched that she had offered it to him at all.]

It suits you.

[His own voice is soft, gentle, understanding.]

I'm honored that you trust me enough to share.

It felt like the right time.

[Ending that conversation on a lighter note – Lightning didn't want the last thing to be about how Ignis had given up everything. She smiles to herself, though it's audible enough in her voice that he should be able to hear it in her gentle reminder as she reaches for his hands once more.]

I'd... appreciate it if you kept this between us.

[Not that she trusts that he won't, but it still needs reiterating, if only to really solidify just how important it is that he keep it secret.]

There aren't a lot of people who know.

[He nods to confirm, and his hands easily curl into hers as she reaches for them, offering her a careful squeeze of reassurance in the process. Of course, there had never been any question of that.]

Your secret is safe with me. I swear.

[He won't tell a soul.]

As ever, you can trust me.

we can wrap this here! ♥

sparkstrikes - 2018-03-05 03:38 (UTC) - Expand

empatheias IC contact. (archive)

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we can wrap this here! ♥