sparkstrikes | empatheias IC contact. (archive)

[With her face so close to his, Lightning's eyes narrow further before she stands up straight. She doesn't want his gratitude or reassurance that anyone is doing the right thing. She isn't doing this to be heroic, but because it's the right thing to do. If what Machina says is true, then there will be a lot more in danger than just his brother, but Lightning will believe it when she sees it.

Nothing in this conversation is giving her the answers she wants or needs, but it's too damn early for this.]

Don't thank me. Not yet.

[There's just one more thing...]

You so much as snap a hair on the heads of anyone I care about, you'll be dealing with something worse than the Arehtei.

That's what I want. But I won't. I gave you my word that I'd protect them.

[Unfortunately for Machina, asserting that he wants to be stopped pushes up against his Focus in a dangerous way. Not enough to turn Cie'th, but certainly a way to subvert the will of the Crystal. And it wouldn't be the first time he's been brainjacked for skirting disobedience.

His eyes glaze over, empty but at the same time, haunted. He remembers too well what he was doing when he was brought to this place. The sound of the Crystal demanding that he kill. The feel of his limbs moving to obey against his dwindling heart screaming out not to. The blood, the screams, the sick sensation of ending a life, pulling their phantoma from their bodies.

It's from that distant place, that that Machina's true self lingers. The too kind and earnest boy, overwhelmed and desperate grabbing for anything he could to not be alone. That child's been effectivly smothered, except even now he's railing against the inevitable.]

I don't want to hurt anyone else.

[He's blank-faced and not present in the here and now, but his iron will asserts itself in the grip on his glass. It tightens and tightens until the glass shatters, slicing his hand open. Machina doesn't flinch. Hell, he doesn't even realize he's cut himself and he's bleeding.]

[Lightning doesn't flinch at the sound of the glass breaking, but she does cast it a very lacklustre look. Another one bites the dust... this isn't the first time a dish has been broken so that isn't the part that makes her uneasy. What does is the fact that he seems impassive about it. She rips a napkin free for him and holds it out, her gaze not once straying from his face.]

Then don't. You don't have to hurt anyone to find answers.

[If Machina's hand hasn't moved away by now, she'll nudge it so she can start cleaning up the shards of glass.]

It makes you no better than them, and I know you don't want that either.

[It's only when Lightning nudges his hand does Machina startle enough into awareness to look at his hand. He holds it out, looking at it, yet not seeing it or really registering that he's gone and cut his hand. The sound of glass being pushed together to be cleaned does register with him and he glances to Lightning, then the hand. A napkin for... oh.

He presses it into the cut hand and casts Cura on it. But it's still just working through the motions.

But lest Lightning think he hadn't heard her...]

It wasn't so bad at first, being a l'Cie. I used it to walk behind enemy lines with impunity, brought intel back to my country.

[Great news, Lightning, the teenager in your house isn't just a l'Cie, he's a spy!]

But then he Crystal forbade me from taking action against Milites. So I ditched on deployments. Let everyone think I was a flake. Then... it demanded I defend the capital. Ordered me to kill my own people. And I did. It... I couldn't stop myself. I butchered them.

What I want doesn't matter anymore. I'm better than no one.

But, I have to try. While I've got will left to myself, I have to do something.

Edited 2018-08-26 06:23 (UTC)

[Something about becoming a l'Cie 'not being so bad' makes her jaw tense, but Lightning remains silent, listening as she sweeps the broken glass off the counter and into the trash. When he finishes, the lid of the bin slams shut.]

You butchered your people back home. What makes you think this is different?

[Her words are sharp, meant to cut through whatever wall he's putting up between them. They may be Arehtei, and some people might think they're false gods, but there is nothing safe about this plan of his. People are inevitably going to get hurt, whether that's Machina, the Arehtei, or those who try to protect them...]

Your line's looking a little blurry.

[She breathes a tired sigh because they're just talking in circles now. No matter what he says to her from here on out isn't going to change how stupid she thinks he sounds, or the fact that he can or will even go through with it in the end. She wants to believe that he'll do the right thing and make the choice that won't hurt others, but she'll be keeping a closer eye on things starting now.]

You should go. [But she gives him one last warning before he can so much as turn to walk away.] People are gonna get hurt no matter what you do. It's tough, but that's life. We all have to learn to live with it.

I'm sorry about your glass. I'll replace it.

[And he will, in the form of a whole new set purchased from his income. His humanity is lost, but there remains a stern sense of right and wrong. Unfortunately that sense is easily manipulated by others.]

But thank you. I mean it.

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